Connecting With Your Buyer’s Motivation
Why understanding whether a buyer is moving toward a desired outcome or away from an undesirable one can lead to better sales conversations
In my last post, I talked about something I believe strongly: selling should be done ethically and with the intent of improving the buyer’s circumstances.
That raises an important question:
What actually motivates someone to buy?
Buyers will give us all kinds of reasons.
“We need to reduce costs.”
“We need to improve efficiency.”
“We’re losing customers.”
“We need to improve the employee experience.”
“We’re trying to grow revenue.”
“We need to reduce our exposure to lawsuits, penalties or reputational damage.”
Those reasons are real. But underneath them, I believe most buying motives can be understood through two broad motivational directions:
A desire to gain.
Or...
A fear of loss.
Think about it.
We want to gain revenue, profitability, efficiency, stability, customer satisfaction, employee satisfaction, recognition, market share or career advancement.
Or we want to avoid losing money, customers, employees, time, credibility, market position or maybe even our jobs.
Different circumstances. Two general motivational directions.
Aspirations and Afflictions
RAIN Group uses similar language in its sales methodology: Aspirations and Afflictions.
Aspirations represent what buyers want to accomplish. Afflictions represent the problems, difficulties and undesirable circumstances they want to solve or avoid.
This concept also has some interesting parallels in behavioral science.
Psychologist E. Tory Higgins’ Regulatory Focus Theory distinguishes between a promotion focus, concerned with advancement, growth and accomplishment, and a prevention focus, concerned with security, safety and responsibility.
Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky’s Prospect Theory demonstrated that people evaluate outcomes in terms of gains and losses relative to a reference point. Their research also showed that losses can have a disproportionately powerful psychological impact compared with equivalent gains.
Even Freud’s Pleasure Principle proposed that human behavior is influenced, at least in part, by seeking pleasure and avoiding psychological discomfort.
These theories are not identical, nor do they claim that all human behavior can be reduced to two motives. But there is an interesting motivational pattern that sales professionals should understand:
Move toward something desirable.
Or...
Move away from something undesirable.
Why Does This Matter in Sales?
Because identifying a business problem isn't necessarily the same thing as identifying the motivation to solve it.
A buyer might tell you:
“We need to improve customer satisfaction.”
Great. But keep going.
Why?
Maybe improved customer satisfaction means better retention, more referrals and increased revenue.
That’s an aspiration.
Or maybe complaints are increasing, renewals are declining and an executive is worried about losing major accounts.
That’s an affliction.
Same stated business need. Very different motivation.
This is why I teach sellers to probe beneath the surface need.
What happened?
What was the impact?
What happens if nothing changes?
What would improving this make possible?
How would success be measured?
And importantly:
What would solving this mean personally to the people involved?
The objective isn't to manufacture motivation.
It’s to discover the motivation that already exists.
Meet the Buyer Where They Are
Imagine someone’s house is on fire.
Talking about how beautiful their kitchen could look after a remodel probably isn't going to resonate while the flames are still burning.
Put out the fire first.
The same principle applies in business.
If your buyer is worried about losing customers, missing revenue targets, experiencing another outage or getting called into the CEO’s office again, immediately painting a beautiful future state may miss where they are emotionally.
Understand the affliction.
Let them explain it.
Explore its impact.
Then help them envision a better state.
But the opposite is equally important.
Suppose I'm excitedly planning a luxury vacation abroad. I'm talking about the food, culture, beaches and experiences I'm looking forward to.
And your first contribution is:
“Have you checked the crime rate?”
“Do you know how often it rains?”
“Have you considered everything that could go wrong?”
Those may all be legitimate considerations. But you're probably not the person I'm going to keep discussing my vacation with.
Why?
Because my motivational direction is aspirational.
Meet me there first.
Ask where I want to go. Ask what I want to experience. Ask what would make the trip unforgettable.
Then, once we've connected around the desired outcome, we can discuss potential risks and how to protect the experience.
The point isn't to ignore risks when a buyer is aspirational or ignore opportunities when a buyer is experiencing an affliction.
It's about sequencing the conversation appropriately.
Connect with where the buyer is first. Then help broaden their perspective.
Don’t Manufacture Pain
This distinction matters tremendously to ethical selling.
A seller shouldn't manufacture fear because they believe fear will accelerate a deal.
And yes, this applies to Challenger sellers too.
Challenging a buyer isn't about manufacturing pain or creating fear. It's about bringing insight, credible examples, data and a perspective that exposes a problem, risk or opportunity the buyer may not have recognized or fully appreciated.
A great Challenger seller might cause a buyer to say:
“I hadn't thought about it that way.”
That's very different from trying to make them afraid.
The insight may uncover an affliction they didn't realize existed or reveal an aspiration they hadn't considered possible.
But even when challenging a buyer’s thinking, sellers should pay attention to the motivational direction the buyer is already moving in if they want to keep the dialogue going.
If the buyer is primarily motivated by an aspiration, connect your insight to what they're trying to achieve.
If they're primarily motivated by an affliction, connect your insight to what they're trying to solve, prevent or protect.
You can challenge HOW buyers think without immediately fighting against WHAT is motivating them.
That’s how you keep the dialogue going.
And once you've earned the right, you can broaden their perspective.
Listen for the Motivational Cues
The practical application is fairly simple.
Listen.
Is this buyer primarily trying to achieve something?
Or are they primarily trying to prevent something?
Are they pursuing growth, recognition, efficiency, profitability, customer satisfaction or career success?
Or are they protecting against lost revenue, customer churn, operational failure, financial exposure, reputational damage or personal consequences?
Sometimes it's both.
Your job isn't to choose the buyer’s motivation for them.
Your job is to uncover it.
Then connect your solution to what they told you matters.
That’s the difference between manipulating someone and helping someone make a decision.
Understand Why It Matters Enough to Act
Great selling isn't simply about discovering what someone needs.
It’s about understanding why solving that need matters enough for them to act.
Desire to gain.
Fear of loss.
Aspirations and afflictions.
Promotion and prevention.
Different language pointing toward a powerful sales lesson:
Understand what your buyer is moving toward or what they're trying to move away from, then meet them there.
Don't manufacture their motivation.
Discover it.
Understand it.
Then help them make a better decision.
What are your thoughts? Do you find your buyers are more often motivated by what they hope to gain or what they're afraid to lose?
If you'd like to hear about my full Buying Motives presentation, send me a DM.
Sources and Further Reading
Kahneman, Daniel & Amos Tversky. “Prospect Theory: An Analysis of Decision under Risk.” Econometrica, Vol. 47, No. 2, 1979.
Higgins, E. Tory. “Beyond Pleasure and Pain.” American Psychologist, Vol. 52, No. 12, 1997.
RAIN Group. Aspirations and Afflictions and Insight Selling research and methodology.
Freud, Sigmund. Beyond the Pleasure Principle, 1920.